Away We Go

For the inaugural (sort of) post:

DOWN UNDER

Oh yes women--you know of what I speak: the lady flower, the sponge cake--you're VaJayJay!

I personally don't understand why we go through so much trouble! To wax, shave, trim and the like, when if you ventured down south on a man--you would see NO SUCH EFFORT. But alas--we are women--and we don't want a man to steer clear of our lady flower, so we pay exorbitant amounts of money to make sure our lady flowers are silky smooth--void of hair anywhere. While it does seem to excite my boyfriend--which is after all the point--I am left feeling like I did when I was 8, waiting to become a "woman".

Some women I have talked to have said "It's not just for him, I do it for me too." Ya know what I say to that--BULLSHIT. NO woman likes getting waxed every few weeks, it HURTS like HELL. What hurts more than that, is when I can't afford to get waxed, and have to use my handy dandy razor, and am left looking like my vag got chicken pox. Sure, vitamin E oil helps, but when you're man's hand starts sliding south, you can feel yourself tense up--because you KNOW he can feel the bumps the razor left (no matter how much baby oil and softener you use). So you find yourself crossing your legs or just going straight to sex and depriving yourself of any kind of touch from your man. Which is funny, considering you went THROUGH that pain TO GET TOUCHED by your man. But, of course, if you hadn't shaved, you would look like a wildabeast and you wouldn't even let him come CLOSE to feeling that.

Though, I won't lie--it's nice to go swimming and know everything is in its place, and know that no stray hairs are straggling out. AND it IS nice, when my boyfriend runs his hand down and smiles and the silky smoothness that my lady flower has become. It really only becomes a problem, further in the relationship, when you have been sick, and dieing, and he wants some, and you aren't to the point in your relationship where you can tell him to F-off, so you get rowdy and right when the underwear are about to come off--you remember "OH SHIT--I'm a freaking forest down there!" So you make sure that his hand never travels down there--or his face. And you are more focused on making sure he doesn't see your shrubs, that you can't even enjoy the nibbles on your neck!

So if those women, when they said "It's not just for him, it's for me too" meant that they do it to keep themselves from un-enjoyable sex, or a chicken pox vag--then I believe them.

So, you like me, are left signing up every few weeks with a waxer named Helga, who is liberal with the wax, and tells you to spread em faster than you can get your underwear off.

Ahh....the Joys of being a woman??

Whatta bout you? Wax or No Wax?

Love and Luck,

KayDee